Just giggle i guess

On days like today, when everything that could go wrong goes wrong, when i have to take a deep breath so that i dont cry, and when it feels like confusion has become a way of life...on these days i kneel down and thank god that i am alive, that i have an amazing and beautiful body, that i got to experience the first snowfall of the season, and that i have so many blankets to wrap my cold self up in. I am so blessed. Im blessed that i have such a crazy and eratic mind, that seems to jump to conclusions every other word, im blessed because i have a heart that falls hard and fast, and even though pain teaches me the same lessons over and over again, i am me. im jenni. yes i had a bad day. but guess what? i have a freakin GREAT LIFE. yep thats about it. im blessed, life is an incredible journey. the church is true. goodnight. <3

The Pursuit Of Happiness

just because you are confused does not mean you are stupid just because you are lonely it does not mean you are alone and just because you breathe it does not mean you live. life is about the whirlwind of events the sprinkle of rain on the windshield the warmth of holding the person you love its that moment when you feel your heart grow a size or two :) its cuddling up in warm blankets and watching your favorite movie its giggling to yourself because your mind, face and heart are all smiling its pushing through the pain and misunderstandings and standing tall its taking a deep breathe knowing that everything WILL be ok. life is a beautiful disaster, and a complicated masterpiece.

all it takes is a moment of realization, a moment of sheer revalation, and just a touch of love to make you realize that life is good, and happiness is yours :) so i thought tonight i would explain my favorite and oh so beautiful quote that i live each day by. this is honestly the quote that explains my persepctive on my whole life. :) "it doesnt pay to get discouraged." aint that the truth this first line has honestly been a good kick in the butt and smack in the face multiple times...its so true. what does getting discouraged and frumpy and onry do for ya? nothing. diddly squat. it ruins your day, ruins others day, and makes you want to crawl in a hole. fun?? no i didnt think so either. getting discouraged is pathetic. honestily. im not trying to be rude or anything but in my experience, getting discouraged is for show, wheither its for you, a friend or the world, its a show. and im sorry but like my grandma says, "if you cry, you cry alone. but when you laugh then everyone laughs with you" you want to be loved? then be happy. happy people are the most beautiful people, happy people are the most loved people. and guess what else happy people, are happy :) "keeping busy and making positivity a way of life..." this is the challenge. sure sounds easy enough make some cookies, get some cleaning done and smile, that works right? yes those are fantastic things :) but. ive learned that there is more to it than that. when we are living lives without daily fulfillment, it causes discouragment, it causes confidence in your life, desicions, relationships and yourself to deplete. its inevitable. as human beings we must have that sense of accomplishment, it soooo important to stay active in the things you love, and doing the things you need to get done. now the positivity. its hard. let me tell you. hah ive found in many circumstances that smiling is sometimes the LAST STINKIN thing you want to do. its hard. but smile. smile even when it hurts. breathe. see the good in the world and realize that everything will be a little better in the morning, that the sun is shining, that there is people who still love silly old you. just smile, its the first step :) "...is the greatest way to restore faith in yourself." have faith in who you are. have confidence in what you love. go for the gold. its your life, make the mark on the world that you want to make. dont give up ever. dont give in to the mocking and discouragment that the world gives out for free. its a scam. happiness is only found within yourself, and with the lord. the greatness in you is more than you could even imagine. its as great and maybe even greater than albert einstein, walt disney, joseph smith, mother teresa, martin luther king, batman, the lorax and even johnny depp. ;) your greatness depends on who you are, who you let yourself be, and how you shape your life. shape it, or it will shape you. with much love, and a silly grin on my face heres jenni saying goodnight. heres for the hope of tomorrow, the brightness of my future, the courage of tonight, and the love of forever <3

77$ and a hoodie

So today was quite the adventure :) i love how i feel latley! seriously tho im so happy, and i give all credit to heavenly father, he is truly blessing me right now, he has put my whole life into perspective and i am forever grateful. like seriously, you know how people hire professionals to organize there lives? heavenly father is all that and more, and all he asks back is that i live to the best i can. its truly beautiful. the gospel is truly the greatest life tool anyone could ever have. it makes everything so organized, let alone more fun, more happy and more united. i cant wait to be able to go on my mission!!!! then i can share not onlly the lords love, but his gospel in all its organizational, family counseling, budgeting, friendly, celebrating glory :) ps. only 414 days until i can put my papers in :)

so my adventures today included taking 3 tests in math that i was sooooo not prepared for...ya...moving on......haha next was going to cafe rio with my amazing and beautiful girlfriends! we all got together for this monumental day of my gorgeous else's 18th birthday :) this girl is the defination of amazing everyone she is so strong and so powerful :) not to mention amazingly gorgeous. so we go to cafe rio, and laugh our cute lil butts off haha and i had to pay with a 100$ bill. i know i know "what the heck are you doing with a 100$ bill?!" well despite popular belief i actually do save money ;) haha but back to the story...my bill came up to 23.something. i bought else's, mine and a burrito for my bomb shiz teacher mr. taylor, haha and anywho we ate we sayed our goodbyes and as me and bethany pull back into lehi high's parking lot, i realize...i didnt get my 77$ in change back.....you can imagine how distressed me and my tummy felt...haha but i called the little cafe ripper offers and they counted the till and got me my money. ha. so i pointed out my inconvience...just like mr. T told me too, and i got a free meal :) yay. i was soooo blessed that they were able to do it so easy tho, it really was such a tender mercy of the lord. and then!! i lost my favorite hoodie. sooooo sad right?! i just giggled it off tho. cuz you know me, im happy and im not letting a little money mix up or hoodie being lost make me all prissy and onry! i have a great day ahead of me!! so by chance i went back to my classroom just to talk to mr. t and guess whats sitting on the floor....my HOODIE. i know. so cool. i lierally thanked god right then and there. soooo amazing!! he truly does care about the little issues and struggles that our human hearts have. he truly does want us happy, and he gives us trials, to proove that during that trial we can keep our chin up, so that he can give us the reward of extra happiness after :) so i am happy. i have a deeper strength that i have never experienced before. that general conference is some good stuff.:) so these are my adventures of today :) so adios until next time!!! :)

crunchy leaves and hugs

i want him to make my heart skip a beat. i want my breathe stolen. what can i say i want him to love me as the leaves fall down around us. mmm this song makes my heart jump every time <3 i want this :) :) and i think i might just be finding it :) i just want to melt ;) Sara Haze-Melt Into You :) it could be the pang of the guitar and sweet country twang that ive been listening to all day country music does tend to make me feel this way..maybe its the leaves changing colors and the clouds gathering above my head, telling me that the world is changing and taunting me to make change too. Maybe its the long phone calls. maybe. maybe its that warm cozy feeling of autumn :) but whatever it is, i like it. i like how my heart feels full, i like how the cold breeze cant freeze the warmth inside me. i like the feeling of my brain and heart and face smiling :) i like it alot. so general conference has only been over for a little over 24 hours and i miss it so much :) wouldnt it be something if we could have one of gods choosen leaders talk to us once every day?? i think i need to look into this more....haha but i have to say that my favorite part of the whole conference was the saturday morning session :) there was such a special spirit during those first two hours. it was miraculous. and may i just say that the moment President Monson began speaking about the ages of missionaries. i broke down. the tears were streaming down my smiling face even before he said it. the spirit of true revelation was so powerful. it overcame me completly. many people know that in my heart i have always hoped that the age for girls to go on missions would be lowered so that i could accomplish all the things in balance i want to. i dont think that ive felt such a powerful moment of sheer joy and excitement in my whole life!! i will always have something to smile about, i dont think anything could bring me 'really' down ever again. because the lord is calling me into his army :) he wants me and all my fellow youth to go now. :) i couldnt be happier. for me, jennifer ann vanzant, a precious daughter of god have been summoned to serve in the lords army, to gather together the lost children of isreal. ahhh!! i cant wait!! less than 19 months until im 19 and on my mission :D long talks, simple laughs, and clever words. i thrive off of these :) and sometimes i let them take too much a piece in my heart too soon. people are unpredictable, and no matter what, sadly, people break promises. but i think ive finally, finally found a friend who wont do that...i trust him. :) and dont get me wrong ive been so blessed in my life to meet so many different kinds of people who have taught me lots of different lessons, and getting attached to fast isnt good for anyone. so in the words of a truly amazing guy "just be yourself and it'll make me smile" :) so thats just what im gonna do, im gonna just keep being jenni, keep being happy, im gonna enjoy the little moments, and not worry about the annoying things, im gonna love deeply and laugh hard, im gonna be confident and live to the fullest :) haha yes that is a pep talk to my self thanks for participating yo :) i love this fall weather, warm sweaters, scarfs, gloves, holding hands, snuggling, watching movies, staying indoors, writing while watching the leaves fall, smelling the cold in the air, and the sense of change :) anything is possible in autumn <3